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Patrick is
a 28yo in Boston

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Mar
28
Mon

Heroes & Villians

HeroMachine continues to amuse me, and apparently others.

Brian from FAF joins the forces of good with this demonic looking dude. This nameless creation came with only this explaination: "I like that my superhero rollerblades and carries a fanny pack." I think the image really speaks for itself.

He scares me. I don't like horses.

Check out the pathetic attempt at a superhero over at aguysite blog. Nice try. :-)

Super-Crash needs more trusty sidekicks, so here's Robo-Duncan and Ultra-Yelli.

Robo-Duncan is half-man/half-robot, and therefore has emotions that are very hot and cold. And Ultra-Yelli has super-hard indestructible marble-like white skin... and a hot, hot ass.

My vision of a supervillian is Drag. This man/woman/monster is sort of a Hulk-on-hormones. Once a mild-mannered aging drag queen, "Sandy Peaches" was loosing "her" edge—so to stay on top in the fast-pased world of female impersonation, she turned to an experimental form of hormone therapy. But things went horribly wrong. Now, whenever Sandy feels fabulous, she is transformed into a raging beast who cannot find shoes in her size.

Look at those sad, sad eyes. And that amazing jacket! I can't wait for the action figure.

And last, but certainly not least, comes Dr. Wrath, a super-villian from the warped mind of Richard at Proceed at Your Own Risk. Here's the disturbing secret origin that was provided:

I'll be Wrath, the brilliant and distinguished, two time Nobel-prize winning scientist, Dr. Dick Rothstein,  who was driven insane by the epidemic of global stupidity.  One day, while struggling with rage in his laboratory after reading about George W. Bush's latest antics, Dr. Rothstein accidentally fell into a vat of radioactive serum that he'd been working on to cure the world's population of bigotry, intolerance and religious fanaticism.  At the same time, a classic bolt of lightening struck his lab and penetrated his anus just as his rage was at its peak causing him to ejaculate into the radioactive and electrically charged serum.  The combination of radioactive anti-bigotry serum, electricity and his own semen, altered the good doctor's DNA and turned Dr. Dick Rothstein into a maniacal misanthropic super villain. 

Unlike normal people, the slightest act of stupidity drives him into an uncontrollable rage leading to a frenzy of destruction and mayhem.  The only way to defeat him is to trick him into anal sex until he experiences orgasm.  This puts Dr. Wrath into a temporary torpid state allowing Super-Crash to contain and imprison the somewhat calmer persona of Dr. Dick Rothstein. However, unless he his confined and constantly penetrated or massaged by the prison guards, his evil super powers return and, if exposed to more than a few minutes of CNN or a few seconds of Fox News, he easily breaks free of his bars and begins yet another rampage endangering the stability of the world.

His evil superpowers include super shouting that can topple monumental buildings, especially neoclassical architecture; the mental mind fuck that allows him to force members of Congress to think until their brains explode, and the ability to stomp his feet until he causes level 12 earthquakes, destroying entire red states within minutes.

Although many are sympathetic to his cause, his disregard for the democratic process and his inability to differentiate between good and bad politicians makes him the greatest danger to democracy since, well, George W. Bush.

Oh dear.

Make your own hero or villian at HeroMachine .

Posted on 03/28/05 at 8:52 AM | Comments (2)
Tagged: Geek



Mar
26
Sat

Friendly Neighborhood... Super-Crash?

Look! Down at my blog!

It's a rollerblader!

It's a lima bean!

It's fetishist!

No! It's what I might look like if given superpowers—or a physique more suited for spandex!

I'd like to point out that Super-Crash, protector of Twenty-Something, has a big green T-looking thing running down his supersuit. And note the use of the 20sum green. (I made very deliberate decisions in designing this outfit!) He also has a magic gauntlet that can... um, do amazing stuff. And a circle-thingee on his belt that he can throw, maybe. I don't know. I haven't thought it through. But I was bored and this is what I came up with.

But look at that crotch! And those size thirteens!

You too can make your own superhero (or villian!) with lots of 90s-era superhero cliches, like big guns or trenchcoats over costumes (right)! Just visit the Hero Machine. It's cool.

Now all I need is a sidekick and an arch-enemy... Any takers? (I'll post or link to any submissions.)

[Via Rich]

Posted on 03/26/05 at 12:01 PM | Comments (2)
Tagged: Geek