20sum Site News
Friday, October 20, 2006
Be Here Now
This is my 800th published post here at "Twenty-Something."
That's a whole lot of words.
217,657 recorded visitors have stopped by this blog since January of 2005. We've had 1,423 published comments. Though posts and comments and visits have slowed, 20sum is still here, and I can't imagine it going anywhere in the next four years before I'm a thirty-something. Maybe this isn't a milestone... but it's something.
I began blogging at the start of 2004. In the time since, there have been many words and many milestones. I had three birthdays. Owned five iPods. Lived in Vermont, Manhattan, and Boston. Ended a three-and-a-half year relationship. Became a Mac person. Wrote most of a memoir about growing up. Fallen apart and put myself together a few times, too. So much has happened and changed in the past three years and "Twenty-Something" has been one of the few constants.
The only way I can think to "celebrate" this 800th post is to go back and rerun my very first. I was three years younger, five months into my life in Burlington post-graduation. I still had a PC and I had my first iPod, pre-click wheel, back when I was the only person on campus with those now-infamous white earbuds. I had just brought Gavin DeGraw to UVM and I was riding high. And I was still with "Duncan." It was our first anniversary. It was before things got bad.
I was happy... back then, which seems a long time ago. I was unhappy for a long stretch. And now?
I'm still a twenty-something. I'm still figuring it out. But I may just be happy for the first time in a while. I think my twenty-three-year-old self said it best: "Someday, I'll have it all -- whatever that means. There's plenty of time for the future, for the plans and the conversations, for the now or nevers. But right here, right now..."
For the first time in many posts, I feel like I did back in January of 2004.
There is no other place I want to be.
Thank you for reading. For returning. For being here.
The other day, on the way to work, my iPod randomly played Jesus Jones' one-hit wonder from 1991, "Right Here Right Now." Yeah -- I know. Jesus H. Jones. Not only do I have "Right Here Right Now" on my computer, I have it on my iPod. And my iPod thinks that I want to hear it as I walk up North Street to work in sub-zero temperatures.
But ya know what? As I get closer to my new 'Pod, as we move past our honeymoon period, I learn that it's not unlike all my relationships. There are good days (and playlists), and bad days (and songs I should just delete). And sometimes, sometimes, 'Poddy gives me not what I want, but what I need.
Strangely enough, Jesus Jones was just what I needed... (continued)
On Friday, I had my first big, big event with work -- a big-ass concert that was the bane of my existence for about two months -- and a visit from my bestest best friend, for the show, and for her annual weekend Vermont visit. A few days earlier -- the 21st -- would've marked three years for me and "The X," had we not broken up sometime after year one. The same day was my mother's 41st birthday, which means that (A) I have a young mother and (B) in nine years, she'll be 50 and I'll be 32. And a few days before that, my boyfriend returned to me after a short geographical break and, coincidentally, celebrated our one-year anniversary. And, last but not least, I passed one more marker last week. I have called Burlington, specifically The University of Vermont, my home for exactly four years now.
Lots going on -- past and present -- in my little life here in Vermont.
And you know what I realized, as I walked through the frozen tundra that is Burlington in January, as my 'Pod's wires stiffened and my beard became frosty, as Jesus Jones provided a soundtrack...?
Right here, right now -- there is no other place I want to be.
At 23, there are big weeks and little weeks. They go by so fast and I pass milestones -- graduations, moves, births and deaths -- along the way. I've settled into a groove, a life, here in Burlington, since graduating, moving, and returning.
I have a job that doesn't pay much. A cheap, tiny, cold apartment that gets lonely sometimes. All of my best friends are far away. But I do feel closer to many of those friends, closer than I've felt in a long time. My apartment's becoming a cozy, comfy home. My job is fun and I'm excelling at it. And my relationship continues to surprise me -- in good ways -- as time goes on.
I have a life. I know that most of this, maybe all of it, isn't forever. But it's now. And for now, it's more than good enough. Funny thing is, I'm not thinking about next semester much. Next year. The next step. I do sometimes, but it's not this constant voice in my head, like it's been almost my entire life. For the first time, I am in the moment.
And I am pretty much happy.
I know there will be changes. I know there will be grad school. I figure there'll be Boston. I know that, sooner or later, there will be conversations that decide the future. But right now there are no plans. No expectations...
Life isn't perfect, and I don't think it's supposed to be. And if being a diehard fan of Sex and the City for the past four years has taught me nothing else, it's this: "That's the key to having it all: Stop expecting it to look like what you thought it was going to look like. That's true of the fall lines, and that's true of relationships."
I don't know much about fall lines (c'mon, I'm not that gay), and I may know even less about relationships, but I'm learning. At 23, I'm learning that I may not be married by 25, and I may not have kids by 30. I may not have all my friends physically in my life everyday. I may not be rich. I may not be where I thought I'd be at 23, but I think I finally get it. I wasn't where I thought I'd be at 18, at 19, 20, and so on. And I made myself miserable about it. It was only in hindsight that I realized, in almost every case, what I had in those moments. What I took for granted, what I missed, all because I didn't slow down, stop, savor...
Someday, I'll have it all -- whatever that means. There's plenty of time for the future, for the plans and the conversations, for the now or nevers. But right here, right now...
If you can be happy in a moment -- whether it be during a Gavin DeGraw concert, a cheesy 80s movie with funny cameos and a horrible soundtrack, random sing-alongs with obscure pop mp3s, or a quiet, drunken moment on an uncomfy futon in a overheated loft -- that's a start. And if you can be happy in many (maybe even most) moments, you've got something special. Something to savor. Something to believe in.
Right here, right now...
There is no other place I want to be.
Posted by Patrick at 10:11 AM in 20sum Site News | Top | Permalink | Comments (6)
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Happy New Year's (Eve)
Happy December 31st! And welcome to the new home of Twenty-Something.
I've had the domain name "20sum.com" for a while now, and I've been playing around with Movable Type for a couple months -- the end result being this new and improved version of ye ole blog.
The new digs still need some tweeking, so I'll be playing around and settling in for a bit. But in the meantime, have a look around and give me any feedback you may have. And don't forget to update any bookmarks or links you may have to the old blogspot/blogger site.
Happy New Year!
Posted by Patrick at 08:05 AM in 20sum Site News | Top | Permalink | Comments (5)
Thursday, December 15, 2005
In Good Company
Twenty-Something (along with most of my blogroll and a lot of other cool folks) has been nominated for Best Gay Blog of 2006. What good company to share a pulldown menu with! Thanks for the nod, BGB.
Posted by Patrick at 07:52 AM in 20sum Site News | Top | Permalink | Comments (1)
Friday, June 24, 2005
hideaway
I absolutely love the fact that the search phrase "Dean Koontz 4 testicles" now brings you to this site...
Posted by Patrick at 05:25 PM in 20sum Site News | Top | Permalink | Comments (1)
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Who Are You?
Since the series really got going, I had contemplated "coming out" on my blog around the time I came out to the world in 90s-Something. It seemed hypocritical to be writing about my leaps from the closet and announcing to the world who I was while I was "hiding" behind a stupid moniker, a high school nickname that never really stuck. (Funny thing is, I never saw myself as hiding.)
And so, for that and other reasons, I have decided to make some changes here at 20sum. The first of which is to introduce myself.
My name is Patrick, the Blogger Formerly Known as Crash. I am a gay writer and I live in Vermont.
Nice to meet you.
Posted by Patrick at 06:08 PM in 20sum Site News | Top | Permalink | Comments (14)
Friday, May 06, 2005
Another Reality Cliché
As it turns out, I'm no Richard Hatch. Rather, I'm a Beth from the Real World Inferno Challenge.
I have quit the Ultimate Blogger competition. UB -- while a fun idea, which is being executed very well by the folks at Urban Honking -- just wasn't for me. The first few days were pretty joyless, and after secretly hoping I would get voted off in the first round, I figured I ought to take matters into my own hands. 90s-Something was a chore this week, and my intial version of it was sloppy. I can't have my primary writing project suffer for the sake of winning an iPod shuffle.
Thanks for supporting my brief stint into the world of reality blogging. (No thanks for the nasty comments and *ahem* threats. I never said my life was less "boring" than yours. I am, however, fragile and very shy.)
Good luck to the remaining 10 contestants.
More changes to come here at 20sum...
Posted by Patrick at 12:25 PM in 20sum Site News | Top | Permalink | Comments (14)
Monday, May 02, 2005
Competition
Our first challenge is to write about food. (If you watch the video on the site, it actually has good reasons why the topic is food.)
One of my writing professors in college told me that I should set all of my writing in restaurants. I mean, I think he was saying I was good at writing about people in restaurants. That was a compliment... or was he calling me fat? I don't know, but I do find it serendipitous that I am going out to dinner with no less than ten people this evening. I'm sure there will be something to write about from that.
Also: one of my strategies in this game is to hopefully give the UB lots of traffic, so much so the producers would be crazy to let the other players kick me off. So how about it, fellow bloggers? Link to me and Ultimate Blogger from your sites! I would die for a Crash-inspired shout-out to UB on, say, Pink or towleroad. (How's that for passive-aggressive link-whoring?)
Posted by Patrick at 11:21 AM in 20sum Site News | Top | Permalink | Comments (2)
Sunday, May 01, 2005
On The Island
Finalist no more! Starting tomorrow, I will be one of the 12 contestants on the first ever Ultimate Blogger "reality show," taking part in blogging challenges for the next six weeks.
It's on, bitches!
I will continue my usual blogging here at 20sum (90s-Something and all) while I'm surviving over at UB -- but those who like my style will now have two places to read me (until I'm voted off).
Am I lame for doing this? One reader writes in, concerned I'm selling out for too little (should I have held out for $5K, not $500?). My secret admirer Cathy over at 802 Online calls me trendy. What do you think?
In any case, tune into The Ultimate Blogger starting tomorrow to see where this goes.
Posted by Patrick at 11:41 AM in 20sum Site News | Top | Permalink | Comments (6)
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Internet Cage-Match
I am a finalist to compete in The Ultimate Blogger contest at Urban Honking. Out of 300+ applicants, I am one of the final 30.
What does that mean?
The Ultimate Blogger is a 6-week competition between 12 people to be the best blogger in order to win a $500 dollar prize package. Each week consists of two challenges and two eliminations. The person or team that wins the challenge is safe, forcing the other players to vote someone out of the game. The last blogger remaining will be crowned The Ultimate Blogger and win the prize package.Yes, I am a finalist for, essentially, a blogging reality show. That's hot.
Do I have what it takes to make it into the Final 12? Will I be the token gay? Can I channel Richard Hatch and kick some blog-ass? We'll all find out soon as I believe the competition starts early next week. Wish me luck.
Posted by Patrick at 12:05 PM in 20sum Site News | Top | Permalink | Comments (1)
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Everyone Else is Doing It...
Sometime while I was sleeping this past weekend, Twenty-Something passed the 20,000th visitor mark (since I began using statcounter last month anyway). I'm not sure if this is particularly impressive or not, but everybody else seems to be making their own similar milestones - so I figured, why not me?
This site has become drastically more popular over the past few days, due to new links from great sites like JustUsBoys and aguysite. And, of course, I couldn't have gotten here without the continued support of fine folks like Richard and Corey, who send a steady stream of visitors from their own amazing blogs.
I would also like to thank all the cool people out there that take the time to comment and, even, email. (I have to say that I'm way behind with responding, so if you have not heard back from me yet, please don't take it personally. God, I am pretending to be a celebrity now, aren't I?)
I will refrain from any Sally Field references. Please do the same.
If you like this site, please keep emailing, commenting, and linking because, at twenty-four, I really do use them as -- as Joe.My.God. so accurately called it -- "a shamelessly transparent vehicle for continuous validation." I like feeling "popular."
But if you really like Twenty-Something -- or maybe just Make the Man or 90s-Something -- maybe you'd consider a donation? As you can see, I've added one of those shameless buttons to my sidebar for the time being. I figure if a guy who can afford a brand-new PSP can make a little cash from this system, why can't a poor, poor twenty-something in Vermont? (Sorry, Oliver - I'm just trying to start a feud and get some linky love!) I want to upgrade the site soon and, also -- stylish size 13 shoes and my iTunes habit ain't cheap!
Thanks for 20,000 hits -- and for making my blogging experience so enjoyable.
Now give me money. :)
Posted by Patrick at 05:36 PM in 20sum Site News | Top | Permalink | Comments (0)
Monday, March 21, 2005
Crash is Not an Accident
I'm ripping this off from Secret Simon, who in turn stole the idea from someone else. What's your favorite?
Googlism for: crash
crash is evidence of speculator's influence
crash is much greater when driving on rural roads
crash is imminent
crash is a scam
crash is affecting holiday travel plans
crash is a compelling story for all time
crash is still not known
crash is stylin
crash is totaled
crash is coming
crash is nature's way of urging data backups
crash is good at writing html
crash is lost to 'clerical error'
crash is airline's deadliest since '95
crash is rather contradictory as the ukrainian site mignews
crash is moving
crash is a human and psychological tragedy
crash is not an accident changing the way we think about events
crash is here to stay
crash is suspect in rape case
crash is identified
crash is a registered charity financed only by donations
crash is an extremely well made but utterly preposterous show
crash is one for believe it or not
crash is a spoken word event held every other month in jamaica plain
crash is nigh
crash is shown once in real
crash is by far the most uncompromising and confrontational film of the year
crash is a provocative and brilliantly disturbing project
crash is stable by associated press
crash is a tired vehicle
crash is not an accident
crash is by no means the shocking film you would expect it to be
crash is here and he's taking it to nintendo and mario in a big way
crash is the portrayal of a future that is bizarre enough to be plausible
crash is our pet chinchilla
crash is no exception
crash is an album that will please fans
crash is and so huggable and loveable
crash is currently a late night staple of the independent film channel
crash is a film about the lives of a group of people who become sexually aroused
crash is the breaking down of order
crash is way too proud of itself
crash is reported individually
crash is poised to break out in mass
Posted by Patrick at 05:01 PM in 20sum Site News | Top | Permalink | Comments (0)
Sunday, January 30, 2005
For the Fans
Searches for "Gavin DeGraw shirtless" and "What happened to Seal's face?" already bring you to this site.
So here you go:
Question: Are those scars on your face from rituals?
Seal: They are from a condition I had called Lupus.- From an AOL live chat transcript from 1998.
Posted by Patrick at 05:02 PM in 20sum Site News , Hot Guys | Top | Permalink | Comments (0)
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Slow
My posting momentum has slowed this week. My PowerBook is in the shop. I'll catch up soon.
Posted by Patrick at 12:04 PM in 20sum Site News | Top | Permalink | Comments (0)
