twenty-something

I'm not typically one to post other's words to me here on Twenty-Something, but sometimes situations warrant it. Yes, because I am a self-absorbed blogger, I'm sometimes OK with posting an email sent in confidence onto the internet.

This weekend, I recieved this email from a (non-blog-related, real-life) Boston-area friend that was flattering, surprising, and confusing. (The subject line was "superfly.")

Patrick-- it's been a while since I been telling you [how] happy and hard it makes me to look at your pics and read your messages. And best I can tell the feeling might be mutual.

So all I ask is this-- do I have a chance? Not just of getting in there for some hot messin around for a few good nights, but something longer term than that.

Cuz I'll tell ya, from my perspective, I wish I had that chance. You are a very handsome winsome guy. You seem grounded, sexy, a well-read readhead, confident and as yet unbroken by the world; In other words dude you're one in a million. Muyltiple millions.

And it's weird on me 'cause I don't know where we stand. I know you know that I'm seeing some one, but that is more of a mutual agreement to avoid loneliness than it is a fervent bond. So all I ask is you let me know where I do or might stand. Be totally honest -I can take it and it's better that way for all concerned.

Now I don't often get emails from friends-with-boyfriends, confessing feelings and asking about mine, offering to leave their current guy for a shot with me. In fact, I don't think I've ever gotten such an ultimatum. Guys I like don't tend to like me back -- in fact, that seems to be why I like them in the first place. And guys that like or persue me? I usually think there's something wrong with them (because they like me) and run away. And if, god forbid, feelings were ever mutual -- I would find another way to sabatoge it. Because when something's mutual, something might work... and when it works, that's when you can really get hurt.

So, no, I have never really gotten a confession like this from a taken someone that I'd ever consider. But here one was, staring me in the face. An offer to be with a very sexy, smart, and sweet man. All I had to do was say the word.

I knew that there was no simple answer, at least not for me. And it would take me some time to consider my feelings for said friend. So I crafted a careful response. Said that I was flattered, that I might be open to the idea, but I needed time. I didn't say no, but I didn't say yes, either. I said everything short of "let's do this thing."

And I heard back today, simply:

dont bother...i'm taken and it wont work out. good luck bro