twenty-something

Recently, headlines have inaccurately screamed things like, "Red Cross calls for equal treatment of gay blood donors." This is simply not true. The organization has indeed changed their stance on this blood ban -- but only slightly. According to the press, the Red Cross is only urging the FDA to "relax" its lifetime ban on donations from men who have had sex with men since 1977 to a 1-5 year waiting period, not doing away with it. This "progress" means that any sexually active gay man is still barred from giving blood, because it continues to base guidelines not on specific risky behaviors, but on sexual orientation. This means that I, as a gay man, can never give blood unless I become celibate for over a year, something that is not expected of my straight peers. There is nothing "equal" about this treatment. UVM currently seems to be hiding behind this "progress" and continues to allow blood drives to occur on our campus.

I am deeply hurt by this discrimination and the presence of the Red Cross on campus, and I have been for all my years at UVM. In the past year, however, things have become harder for me as these blood drives have taken place right outside of my office, in the Billings North Lounge, literally feet from my office door. The proximity to my workspace has taken its toll. The issue has been completely unavoidable for me and caused me to begin to resent this institution. This is why I have to leave.

I was born here -- literally on the UVM campus, in what is now known as the Fletcher Allen Medical Center. I like to think that I began my life here at UVM twice -- first as a ruddy, redheaded newborn in 1980, and again as a transfer student in 2000. I think I learned more in the past six and a half years than in the nineteen before them, not necessarily from my studies, but from life. My time here has been filled with soaring victories and crushing defeats, highs and lows... This place made me the man I am today.

And the man that UVM has made me is, ironically, a man who cannot stand to be a part of this institution any longer. I realize that change may come someday, but not fast enough. I realize that this is not a fight I can win, and the cost to me personally has already been too great. Despite the best efforts of some brave students and staff, UVM refuses to budge, to do the right thing and kick the Red Cross off campus. This is a test and UVM's administration, including President Fogel, has so far failed miserably.

I love this place so much that I practically bleed green-and-gold -- and this administration, by proxy, is telling me that my blood is worthless and that the Red Cross is more important than my rights and feelings, not to mention the campus climate.

I'm leaving now because I can still say that I love this place. I'll leave behind friends and family, amazing colleagues, inspiring students, and a city that feels like a part of me. In Burlington and at UVM, I found, for the first time since I was nine years old, a place to truly call home. I leave now because I can still call this place home, because I hope I will always be able to, even as I search for a new place to belong.

Thank you, UVM, for an invaluable six-and-a-half year education. This last lesson is perhaps the hardest, and the one I didn't want to learn from this place. But I have faith that, someday, the FDA will get rid of this ban, and until then, that UVM -- be it under President Fogel or some future administration -- will do the right thing and kick the Red Cross off campus. Until then, my green-and-gold blood will pump elsewhere.