twenty-something

* * *

Where are you when Princess Diana died? It's Labor Day weekend -- which means my brother's birthday, and the visits of many extended family for the "Great" Rutland Fair -- and I am checking my email late at night while my relatives exchange over-told family tales. I see the headline on Yahoo and I share the sad news with those in the room: Diana has gotten into a bad car accident, and it doesn't look good.

While Di's death is a tragedy, the salt on the wounds that come later -- the purple "Princess" Beanie Baby, the "Candle in the Wind '97" rewrite and single release -- are truly morbid bits of opportunistic pop culture in '97. Shame on you, T.Y.. Shame on you, Mr. John.

* * *
Let's not forget the biggest event of 1997: Sarah McLachlan releases her first new album since 1994.

Surfacing is released during the summer and it's OK. It's no Fumbling, but I adore songs like "Angel," "Adia," and "Sweet Surrender" -- before they get nauseating radio play. My favorite song, however, is "Full of Grace" -- which was previously released. Still, I love Sarah and I'm tremendously happy with her success. She's just not the same artist that saved my life three years prior.

Nonetheless, inspired by the album, I bring it with me when I get my senior portraits taken. It plays in the background as I show the cover to the photographer.

"I want that," says the boy that is finally surfacing himself, from the closet, from years of baggage.

And this is what the boy gets:

* * *

I see Kevin Kline's In & Out in the theaters. And even though I'm only seventeen, and this is the first gay movie I've seen on the big screen -- I know immediately that it sucks.

I like humor based stereotypes as much as the next guy -- but I don't find the on-screen mugging of Kline (whom I love) dancing to disco and kissing Tom Selleck to be anything remotely funny. I do find the ever-hilarious Joan Cusack and the cute coming out (?) of hottie Shawn Hatosy to be the film's only redeeming (or really memorable) qualities.

* * *

My take on the Mighty Mighty Bosstones' "The Impression That I Get"? It's about getting an HIV test. I realize this as I, the responsible sexually active teen that I am, get my first STD screening.

Think about it:

I've never had to, knock on wood
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if i could
It makes me wonder if...

I'm not a coward,I've just never been tested
I'd like to think that if I was,I would pass
Look at the tested and think there but for the grace go I
Might be a coward, I'm afraid of what I might find out

I'm totally right about the song (and STD free!). The lyrics speak for themselves.

* * *

Remember "Parker," the boy who I am cyber-smitten with, the one who lives a couple hours away? Well, me and the soccer player finally get our act together, and he comes to Rutland so we can meet and have an official date.

The date takes place at an AIDS Walk -- not exactly romantic, but a good fit for two emerging activists. We chat as we roam the streets of my town. I can't stop thinking about how cute he is with his wavy brown hair. I can't stop worrying that he's not going to like the nice hike and picnic lunch I have planned for after. I can't stop looking at the gloomy clouds that are rolling in...

It does rain, and so our picnic moves indoors -- to my bedroom, with the door closed. And locked. Lunch is short and, before long, we are necking for a few hours. This isn't a hotel room, or the back of an SUV, or in the woods. This is in my bed. This is the hottest, most romantic experience of my seventeen years.

Pants stay on. We stay above the belt. We are good boys.

And I am on top of the world.

* * *

I am riding a high after that first date, and I ride it straight to the record store in the mall. I buy Third Eye Blind's self-titled first album ("Semi-Charmed Life," y'all!) and Jewel's Pieces of You. (I pass on Sugar Ray.)

At the mall, I see Kristen. As I'm telling her all about my amazing day with Parker, she looks at me in horror and rushes me towards the bathroom.

"You have a hickey. Actually, you have multiple hickies. You're a mess!"

Far from mortified, I am quite happy with these marks of my afternoon. These are my first hickies -- and I'm tremendously proud. I refuse to wear a turtleneck. I want the world to know that somebody sucked on my neck.

At work at the grocery store, strangers offer me home remedies to get rid of the tiny purple bruises. I just smile and take their advice with no intention of using it, knowing that they know that I got lucky. They might not guess that it was with a soccer playing activist gay boy from a farm in rural Vermont -- but at least they knew I was getting something from somebody.

* * *
The sun sets on September 24, 1997. We sit ourside our school in her big purple Caddy, terrified. A hundred copies of a manifesto, made at Kinko's, hide in her trunk. My first editorial as chief of the school newspaper sits on my advisor's desk, ready for print.

We stare at the school from the parking lot.

"So this is it," I say.

"We're really doing this," she says.

"We could get kicked out of school, you know."

"My parents are gonna flip."

"But we're doing what is right."

Kristen and I decide that it's time to make history. We get out of the car and head towards the school after hours...

---

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Posted by Patrick on 05/11/05 at 1:55 PM
Categorized: 90s-Something
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