twenty-something

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<< Continued from Part One

My parents are gone. Adam spends the night. We swim, watch movies, go through yearbooks, talk. We stay up until 4AM. He falls asleep first, on the floor beside my twin bed, and I think, "This is it. I'm happy." The next day, after his parents pick him up and we vow to do this again soon, I am left alone in my house and I feel... empty. Really, inexplicably, sad. I want him back in my house, right that instant, and I never want him to leave.

* * *
TLC. "Waterfalls." Don't go chasing them! Stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to! Please!

* * *
Friends season one finale! Rachel finds out! Madonna's "Take a Bow" plays! Ross has an Asian girlfriend! So good!

* * *
Adam spends the night again within the week, and soon we become inseparable. My family spends most of the summer away and Adam practically moves in. We go to the grocery store together. We go out to eat or go to the movies, taking turns picking up the tab. He spends literally half the nights in any given week at my house -- I know because I mark every night he does on my Batman Forever calendar with an 'A'. We watch Letterman or pre-Daily Show John Stewart before bed, taking turns sleeping on the floor or in my bed. We talk about the girls we like as we doze off next to each other.

* * *
Speaking of Batman Forever, I have two different dates with two different girls -- the aforementioned Lisa and good-friend-turned-crush-because-of-her-name Rachel -- to see the third Bat-flick. Both fall through, and I end up going with Mike F, Adam's baseball playing friend, behind Adam's back. He's a sophomore with a car. We share popcorn and our bare legs (it's summer -- we wear shorts) brush against each other. Mike invites me to sleep over. Though I'm told I'm sleeping on the couch downstairs, I end up falling asleep in his bed. The next morning, Mike comments, "You are the first guy to sleep in here with me. That wasn't bad." Later in the summer, he confesses that he used to "mess around" with my neighbor, an older boy who's graduated already. I soon stop hanging out with Mike.

* * *
So... *ahem* 90s nostalgia? How about that Batman Forever soundtrack? It has all those great tunes, like U2's "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me" and, especially, Seal's "Kiss from a Rose." Seal totally rocks! Also? I have a poster of hottie Nicole Kidman (right) from the film up on my wall.

* * *
Adam and I spend many days out by the pool. I get used to the sight of him shirtless. We skinny-dip together twice, at night, just the two of us. In the mornings after he sleeps over, I am always the first one to shower and, often, Adam walks into the bathroom to piss before I am done. It's usually right after I shut off the water, right as I'm stepping out of the tub, naked, reaching for a towel. He always smiles, jokes, and pees, while I stumble for a towel and, embarrassed, wait for him to leave.

* * *
Welcome! Al Gore invents The Internet. My first tentative log-ons to America Online yield great pleasure. And by pleasure, I mean long download times and little pay off. We're talking pictures of TV's Lois & Clark here, people. I don't discover net-porn until '96.

* * *
Adam orders a (straight) porn flick on pay-per-view. On my parents' cable account.

I am mortified for a moment, but he puts me at ease. He sits next to me on my couch, a little too close, and we suffer through the girl-on-girl opening scene. "That's gross," he says. When a man comes on screen -- naked, hard, muscular -- he is fascinated.

"This is hot," he says, watching him get serviced.

I just sit there, silent, still, aroused beyond belief.

"This is really hot," he repeats. He looks at me. I don't react. I try to stare straight ahead, at the movie, but I keep looking at him. And he keeps looking at me.

"Wow," he grins.

"Yeah."

"This is getting me –"

"Yeah."

We just look at each other, the soft sounds of moaning coming from the TV.

"We should –" he says.

"Yeah."

Within two minutes, he's on the phone with pay-per-view customer service. "We ordered Junior, and it's not playing," he tells her.

Clever.

* * *
As the summer ends, MTV starts playing this girl named Alanis late at night, and this really angry song about going down on a guy in a theater. I go buy her album as soon as it's in stores and start singing along to songs about irony and hands in pockets long before anybody else hears of her.

* * *
During this summer, Adam and I often lie outside together at night, on my pool deck, watch the stars, one of his favorite things to do. On the final night of our summer together, he insists that we spend the night out there together. And so it is. We wait for sleep, side by side, very close, lamenting the return to status quo coming with sunrise -- my family's return, the start of school.

As sleep begins to weigh down my eyelids, Adam turns to me. He gets very close, looks right in my eyes. "This is the best summer I ever had," he whispers.

I want to cry. I realize that it will be over, this perfect thing, in a few hours. Though neither of us will admit it, we both know that the school stalemate between us will return with the first bell of school.

"Yeah. The best," is all I say, all I can say, as he stares at me.

It doesn't end in a kiss.

● ● ●

1995 is still not over! The year's teen angst concludes in Part Three!
How does being a sophomore -- a wise fool -- suit our hero? Will Crash admit his feelings? Will he kiss Adam? What about the second season of Friends? Where does the nickname Crash come from, anyway? Tune in next week to find out -- same Bat time, same Bat blog.

See also: 1990 | 1991 | 1992 | 1993 | 1994 | 1995, Part One