09
Entropy
So it's past 1AM and I stayed home from work today (or yesterday - Tuesday, whatever), sick, basically because I barely slept last night and couldn't face the office in the sad state I was in at nine this morning. I stayed in bed most of the day, didn't shower until the afternoon, and then hopped back into bed.
There are other perks to staying home all day. You get to catch up on some reading and some iTunes organizing. You also get to catch up with Buffy on FX. I'm a huge Mutant Enemy fan, but I haven't seen an ep of BTVS in *scratches head* months.
Of course, on a gloomy sick day like today, it had to be gut-wretching Season Six stuff: "Normal Again" and "Entropy." Our hero is depressed, and everything is falling apart for her friends. Deep, dark stuff. Near the end of the second episode, Anya (who, a few episodes earlier, had been left at the altar by Xander) wonders: "What if he was just pretending? What if he never really wanted me, I mean the way I wanted..." She's hurt and scared, vulnerable and raw. And for just a minute, watching an episode of Buffy, I related. I let myself feel a bit of that stuff that, perhaps, is bottled up inside me. (Sanity sidenote: I don't think I am a repressed maniac or harboring an unusual amount of baggage. Perhaps I am just being melodramatic.)
This episode's title, "Entropy," plays on the second law of thermodynamics: Things never get better, they only get worse.
Maybe that's science, but that's not my life. I don't buy it. Things aren't bad, and they are going to get better. I will eventually fall asleep. I will get out of this job funk. I will get used to Duncan cruising around online. And I will get over him. I'll figure out the next step for me, and I will take it. Soon.
And then I will buy all the Buffy DVDs and live happily ever after.
So... a little Howie Day before bed: Good idea or bad idea?I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collideOne of those songs that just hits you, ya know?
Hiya Crash,
I get these "funks" sometimes where I don't see how I can even get through another day and a song or something will remind me that I am not the only one to ever have had those feelings before and I don't feel so alone anymore.
Thanks for sharing.
Posted by David
09
Buffy and Howie Day in the same post! Brilliant! Sometimes I wonder if we could be long lost brothers, or if you've been reading my diary, since our tastes seem to align really often. Maybe I'll check my locks next time I leave my apartment, just to be on the safe side.
Sorry to hear that life is the dumps right now. It'll get better.
Posted by Rick
09
I have a good friend out in Idaho. Every night, I have him dress up like Sydney Bristow and sneak into your apartment and do spy-like activities to learn more about you. Then I post about them just to give you the chills. It's all part of my master plan.
Life's not really in the dumps - just had a dumpy day. Life is beautiful. :)
Posted by crash
09
Eeeks! I've been wondering who that chick is with the ugly wigs and bad makeup. She's always leaving my apartment right as I enter it, and usually followed by cheesy techno music too. I thought this was odd, but I figured she had a hidden iPod somewhere. Last time I saw her, I asked what her name was. She told me it was "Ima. Ima GonnatellCrasheverythingaboutyou", and then I blacked out. It must have been the sheer beauty of the girl, except for that knob on her throat. Perhaps she has a goiter?
Nooooo.... now I find out it's all a plot of Crash's to get to my diary. Well, I think I'll see if my diary entry about the coolness of Henrietta Pussycat from Mr. Rogers shows up on this blog. Then, I'll know for certain.
Posted by Rick
10
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