twenty-something

I listened to Ari Hest's cover of "Landslide" (for a limited time only, download it here), thanks to shuffle, while getting ready for work early this morning. It's such a brillant cover of a fairly overdone song. It breathes new life into it for me -- and I was pretty Landslide-ed out after the Smashing Pumpkins and the Dixie Chicks had their way with it. Ari, you've saved it.

But the thing is, it's a beautifully sad song and it's a beautifully sad cover of it. And this morning it hit me. With an impending winter storm, with thoughts of leaving Vermont, and with the potential end of the most signifigant relationship of my entire life perhaps looming, I almost just wanted to cry, alone, in my apartment.

Almost. Instead it didn't come out. And, for now, I just blog about song lyrics.

I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills
'Till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky - What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too

Sometimes I think I should just stop interacting with other human beings. Like it should be illegal, just for me. I don't think I'm very good at it, and often times these interactions -- especially when they involve alcohol, pseudo-boyfriends, and gay bars -- end very badly.

In case you hadn't guessed, I'm sort of still reeling form a good-night-gone-bad. I'm embarassed, hurt, and all sort of other pleasant emotions here in the harsh light of day.

It's times like this that I just have to turn to the Ben Taylor Band:

I'm an island
Everyone can see that I'm an island
I've got ocean just about
Everywhere that I can see

So I'll be stranded unless you come to me
And I'm lonely

I would rather fall from grace completely,
than let you change my mind
I would rather bet my life against the rising of the sun.

Can't be too careful
About the friends you keep around you
Some won't ever let you down
Some who'll fail you every day

And it's a blatant disrespect of privacy
It enrages me

But I would rather fall from grace completely,
than let you change my mind
I would rather bet my life against the rising of the sun.

I'm an island
Can't you understand me I'm an Island
And I'm finally by myself
The way I've got to be

Now that's exactly the thing that's been killing me

I would rather fall from grace completely
than let you change my mind
And I would rather bet my life against the rising of the sun
I would rather bet my life against the rising of the sun

Yes. I said, Mardi Gras in Burlington, Vermont.

Sounds foolish, no? There's a big huge parade (see last year's, above), very family-friendly. Beads but no boobs. And then there is lots of drinking. Basically, Magic Hat Brewing Co. -- their beer, my drink of choice -- constructed this celebration ten years ago, and it's kind of taken off. In theory, it's meant to benefit the Women's Rape Crisis Center, but I don't know how aware of that fact any of the participants are.

Something to know about me: I hate big parades. I hate big crowds of people. And yet here I go, down to Church Street, to participate in this spectacle... and then do some heavy drinking afterwards.

God help me.

Imagine my shock and horror when Mr. Disel was not waiting for me in the shower.

Who wants one? (That's a joke - no one gets one unless you're sleeping with me. So congrats Yelli and Duncan.)

Anybody want to hire me?