twenty-something

Tonight, driving home after dropping Greg off, I put on one of my mom's CDs. Matchbox 20. Mad Season. (It was already in the changer!) I flipped through some songs, eventually landing on "If You're Gone."

Now, it was 1AM on Christmas. I had just spent two hours at the Holiday Inn bar -- with an odd group of high school friends and one slightly flirtatious drunk, twenty-six-year old, married Marine -- and another hour in the car, driving around with Greg, listening to Melissa Etheridge.I was a DD, but I certainly felt punch-drunk. My eyes were heavy, and all I wanted to do was get home and get into bed.

And then that song...

I am twenty, a sophomore in college. It's February of 2001. I'm living in a sixth floor dorm room with my then-best-friend-that's-a-boy-at-school Tom and a beautiful view of the mountains. I'm also in the second month of my epic relationship with Mr. Ex.

"If You're Gone" is a big single. It's on - either on TV, or on my computer - right after Ex has left. He goes down to his car and I watch from my sixth floor window as he leaves. I'm sad he's gone.

I am happy and I am in love. And even thought I haven't told anybody, everybody knows.

I think I'm scared
I think too much...