twenty-something

But it was scary. I went though this once before, but the doctor didn't offer much concern -- just sent me packing with an antibiotic and nary a follow-up visit. This time, my new doc treated me and my issue with a seriousness that chilled me to my core. There were concerned looks, referrals, second opinions, sonigrams. I don't think I can convey how extremely close I was to having surgery scheduled to have Lefty removed.

But some tests and another doctor was able to dismiss cancer without such extremes. I have some sort of trauma, likely due to Landmark School's ropes course and a minor harness accident (ouch). I should go back for treatment

But there was a good five or six days there when I had to entertain thoughts of cancer. I went through a weekend (the one mentioned in my last entry) without telling anybody and just feeling sorry for myself. It sucked. I decided to keep it to myself until I learned more, which proved to be a shitty idea. When I finally broke down and told my Valentine, it helped more than I could have imagined.

My guy spend every free moment with me, and almost every night. He was there to keep me company. To listen, or talk, or be quiet. To hold me hand or snuggle on the couch. None of these things aren't out of the ordinary -- but he quietly made more of an effort without making a big deal. He never vocalized it, but I think he was scared to, which, sick as it sounds, is a comforting thought in some ways. He supported me through the numerous "what if's" that accompany a significant cancer scare, whether we talked about them or not. He was there for me.

And that meant more to me than any cards or chocolates. He may be a pain in my ass a good portion of the time, but when I needed him most, he was there. Our unceremonious Wednesday night dinner at the Olive Garden -- our subtle acknowledgement of the holiday as well as my doctor's appointment the following day -- was just what I needed. Very simple. Very us. A lot different than expensive gifts and cards and store-bought expressions of "love" that I knew in my previous life and relationship -- and a lot better.

He's not who I'd have thought I'd be with. But he's who I've got. My funny Valentine.

I left Saturday for Ohio, and a long-ass conference of Campus Activities. There were ups-and-downs, and lots of fun times with students. I got to meet Uncle Joey and Mr. Belding (again). A surprise strobe light made me vomit and then run out of the building and almost into Mario Lopez. The highlight for me would be seeing, meeting, and booking up-and-coming singer/songwriter Teitur. He's a small, cute little Dutchman. And he sings this week's song. Which would've been the song anyway, but its so much cooler since I unexpectedly saw the man sing it live.

"You're The Ocean." Teitur. Download it now.

It's a simple yet powerful ditty that you're sure to love. And it goes a little something like this: love is somewhere in between what you believe and what you dream...

Amen to that.